As a total fanboy of the Star Wars franchise, I’ve grown to accept that certain things will never happen. I know I will never likely see a high definition version of The Star Wars Holiday Special in its entirety, nor will I see Episode III with an alternate ending where Jar Jar clumsily slips into the molten lava of Mustafar, nor will I an alternate Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi where Boba Fett picks off Ewoks with his blaster for sport… these are pretty much facts, and I can live with them.

While Lucas was widely criticized for the Special Editions, I really didn’t have a problem with them, what I did have a problem with was the exclusion of the original theatrical versions on the forthcoming Blu-ray discs, and his seeming disregard for the passion of fans who have been screaming for them. Look, I totally get that they’re his movies to tinker with and fine tune to no end if he wishes (and he apparently does). That being said, once you’re throwing them onto a format for I, and literally tens of millions of fans to have for their very own, the movies become “ours” and lets face it George, the Star Wars universe has been bigger than you, or Lucasfilm for a very long time.

Yes, you own it George and live off of all of our hard earned cash… which is something else I don’t have a problem with, but for the love of all things good and Jedi in the world, why can’t you give us the un-tinkered with versions that we want? You can still have the other versions on the discs and digitally turn Leia in to a Twi’lek for all I care. Which brings me to WHY my long repressed rant about this is somehow newsworthy right now.

Thanks to the ever-awesome Devin over at BAD, who first made the point that even though many of your favorite websites have been denied copies of the new Star Wars Blu-rays by Lucasfilm, some outlets have gotten copies and rumor of some new tweaks that “The Maker” has inflicted upon the Original Trilogy for the set have been released.

These tweaks apparently include the addition of some Darth Vader dialogue to the scene where the Emperor electrocutes Luke in Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi. What could he possibly say, you ask? Why,  just take a peek at the embed below.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGaSxSuB2vY&hd=1[/youtube]

To be clear, the video above may not be completely accurate because the person who posted it had gotten a hold of the leaked audio track and synched it to the footage himself. The scene’s alteration however, has been confirmed by reliable sources.

But wait, that’s not all…

Apparently there was something wrong Sir Alec Guinness‘ performance as Ben Kenobi when he performed the Krayt Dragon cry to scare off the Tusken Raiders in Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope as well. Check out the new version below!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0EUjobdavw&hd=1[/youtube]

Yes, because it sounds much better like that? Lucas, why didn’t you just overdub audio from Adventure Time? That sounds almost like Earl of Lemongrab anyway.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sHqcv61bM4&hd=1[/youtube]

In conclusion: WTF Lucas? I’ve always been kind of a “never choose sides 50/50 Star Wars/Star Trek fan”, but I’m about to go out and trade my ForceFX Lightsabers for some Spock ears and a phaser.

* The title of this post should in no way be construed as an actual 
physical threat towards George Lucas. However, should the mystical 
power of the force ever come into existence in the real world, this 
disclaimer may be altered as I see fit.